DAY 5

What did you guys do?

Jonathan // Today I planned to have dinner with Joie after church. She mentioned that she was coming to the 5pm service for the first time and it’s nice that we could worship together. We sat by the side aisles where the breeze helped cool us in the hot concrete church. After service ended, we were all gathering around in the back when suddenly I saw my ex-gf. With Joie next to me, I thought...Oh no, please don't come here and guess what? She did. There had been probably the few times we've seen each other in a while since the breakup. I turned around after talking with someone else for a moment and saw that Joie had just introduced herself to my ex-gf. OH MY GAWD, this isn't happening. I had a mini freakout in my head. My ex-gf asked me questions about how we met and I tried to brush off the question with a nervous laughter/tone. The next moment I saw my best friend in the distance who made eye contact with me across the room and I did a little head move to signal what was happening. He immediately knew what was going down. We soon left church and I needed some fresh air. I wasn't ready for what just happened and wondered what was going on in Joie's head.

When I got home, I prepared braised short rib with mint & whipped cauliflower. We had a really great conversation about ourselves (as always) and it went into great depth as well as the event that had just happened. Afterwards, we watched Father of Lights / a documentary about the Love and Power of God and His spirit changing peoples lives through miracles.

Joie // I met Jonathan’s ex-girlfriend at church. I actually had a feeling. There was somewhat of an awkward moment when she asked us how we know each other. I almost blurted ‘online’ but looked over at Jonathan first. His body language told me he was nervous about something as he stumbled over his words a bit. We made small talk and conversations ended. As we were walking out he kept looking back nervously and that’s when I confirmed who I had met. Definitely the most interesting part of the night ha-ha!

He cooked for me at his place and it was wonderful. It was fascinating to watch him cook - a true artist at work. I didn’t get to see him plate the food but I’m sure it was specific. This is something else I admire him for - he has a vision of how he wants something to look (or taste), and makes it happen. I whipped out my camera and snapped away. I asked for diffused lighting and bam, Jonathan got a lantern. It was a fun production. I wonder how we would work together in terms of projects. Dinner itself was amazing. I’m floored by how much time, thought, effort, and energy - went into preparing this meal. It was so nice to be on the receiving end. Later in the evening we watched a documentary called Father of Lights, which was a nice way to end a Sunday. I’m encouraged by Jonathan’s intentionality with spirituality. I was sleepy though...2 glasses of wine, full stomach, comfy couch, blanket, after 10pm…

what did you learn about the other person?

Jonathan // What I find refreshing about Joie is that she takes the time to get to know people. Today she mentioned that she went to have breakfast with a volunteer she met at the Day of Service. I wonder what she does with all these newfound friendships? I wonder how she maintains friendships? I know that she initiates many of her friendships to hang out or do stuff, how does she keep up that initiative spirit? For example, on the previous day, one of my roommates mentioned that he needed a string for his guitar that had broke - and today she brought one. She often puts herself and her things on the line to always benefit other people. This is so thoughtful, almost to the point where one becomes too accommodating to others, which in my perspective can be taken advantage of by the wrong person. This can hurt her so bad. She’ll need to learn how to balance it in her life, of what is literal vs. figurative in the needs of others. Although this can be seen as a naiveté thing of her personality, one often doesn’t find this in people. We have become too cynical as a society and people to care too much about the needs of others and even to foresee their needs rather than be so concerned about our own. I’m not sure I’d change this about her, she was made this way. I hope that even in our friendship I never take advantage of that.

Joie // I learned Jonathan is transparent with his feelings (or am I just good at reading them?) - when we were at church I could tell right away he was nervous about something. In later conversations he told me about a time long ago when he had a huge fight with his parents - and it was because of a relationship. He shared with me he never felt fully accepted for who he is with girls he dated in the past. It breaks my heart to hear that and I am happy he is embracing who he is now.

what did you learn about yourself?

Jonathan // I usually like to avoid conflict or awkward situations or confrontation. Today I was forced to address the situation when the past and present crossed. I wasn’t sure how to deal with without embarrassing anyone or myself. I suppose it’s a very asian way of doing things to avoid conflict or disagreement and just to be nice about certain things. I didn’t grow up in a house where we knew how to handle conflict. Usually there is shouting or usually my mother is right and the rest of us just shut up. Over the years I realized that I am a unique person, I’m not sure if there are many people who can understand that, I think differently and as my BFF would say, borderline genius if not completely insane. I feel like I have really only begun to embrace my preferences or ways of doing things as just a part of myself and being comfortable with it. If anything I should be the only one to accept myself because if I can’t, then who else can?

Joie // I have moments of insecurity especially when it comes to comparing myself to others. I definitely felt myself comparing after I met his ex. I’m not aware how transparent I am with this, but I’ve always had a confidence issue, not feeling like I’m good enough or even worthy of attention. I think it’s something that roots deeply. I’ve been feeling exhausted and like a grandma for wanting to sleep at 10pm. Maybe I’ve been having too much fun but it’s great. I love learning about new things and meeting all these new people.

additional thoughts?

Jonathan // I’m kinda glad of that Joie had no idea who my ex-gf was at first. I hope she realizes she has nothing to be jealous about. As Joie has said before, everyone I’ve been involved with I’ve learned something different and from that has made me into who I am today. Joie mentioned that she’s tall, I wonder what else she has thought about it. But then again I won’t make a big deal out of it. It just happened. On another note the food was amazing tonight. With each dish I make, I love cooking all the more. I’m really glad Joie loves the food, or else I’d have to stop...again. She takes amazing pictures btw.

Joie // Jonathan shared with me part of his journal entry from that morning, and I shared with him mine. It was encouraging that we can share about how God is working in our lives. I also noticed he prefers to journal on his computer, and I prefer to write things down by hand with pen and paper. He’s a techie compared to me (I’m behind in the times).